Sunday, December 12, 2010

Saturday, November 13, 2010

My All-Time Childhood (RE: '80s) Baseball Team



C - Gary Carter, Expos/Mets
1B - Don Mattingly, Yankees
2B - Ryne Sandberg, Cubs
SS - Ozzie Smith, Cardinals
3B - Mike Schmidt - Phillies
RF - Darryl Strawberry, Mets/Jose Canseco, Athletics
CF - Mookie Wilson, Mets/Blue Jays
LF - Rickey Henderson, Athletics/Yankees/Athletics

P - Dwight Gooden, Mets
P - Jack Morris, Tigers/Twins
P - Orel Hershiser, Dodgers
P - David Cone, Royals/Mets

Bench:
C - Carlton Fisk, White Sox
1B - Keith Hernandez, Cardinals/Mets
2B -
SS/3B - Cal Ripken, Jr., Orioles
3B - Wade Boggs, Red Sox
RF - Dave Winfield, Padres/Yankees
CF - Lenny Dykstra, Mets/Phillies
LF - Kirk Gibson, Tigers/Dodgers
OF - George Bell, Blue Jays
OF - Dale Murphy, Braves

Monday, November 1, 2010

My History with Baseball Fandom, part 1: The Mets, '83-'92


Now that the World Series has drawn to a close and free agency (ie, the Cliff Lee Sweepstakes) has fallen upon us, I thought I'd take the opportunity to reflect on my history as a baseball fan. An excellent postseason (even though the Series itself was kind of a dud, it was still nice to see San Fran finally get a championship) is kind of what drew me back into the game after being away for so long. I've tried many times over the years to get back into it; recently, following the Orioles and Nationals, daily, after moving to northern Virginia. But, what it boils down to is the lack of an emotional resonance with either of these clubs. When I lived in Lancaster, PA I had just as difficult of a time caring about the nearby Phillies, despite watching them night after night. So, the following is merely a blow by blow account of each of the MLB franchises for which I've rooted, starting with the only team I have continually held strong affection:

  

1983-'92: New York Mets


The Mets are the team I've gone back to again and again. In fact, I can argue that I never really left them. It all started as a very young boy, just discovering baseball, when my grandfather first had cable installed. One of the channels was a local NY City station, WWOR (where I also later discovered then unknown comedian Mario Cantone's Sunday morning kids show "Steampipe Alley"), which carried the majority of the Mets' games. I spent a lot of time at my grandparents' house, particularly during the summer, while my parents were at work, and subsequently watched a lot of Met games. It's how I learned to love the game.

For whatever reason, newly acquired catcher Gary Carter quickly became my favorite player, although I suspect I may have loved Mookie Wilson nearly as much. Basically, after "The Kid" and Mookie, every other player on the team was tied for my second favorite: Keith Hernandez, "Dr. K" Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Lenny Dykstra (despite him often pushing Mookie out of the lineup at CF), Wally Backman, Ron Darling, Sid Fernandez, Howard Johnson--- it all culminated with them winning one of the most exciting World Series of all time, and a young impressionable kid like me was hooked. I fully expected this incredibly talented youthful Mets team to win a few more, and if it weren't for cokeheads Darryl, Keith, and Doc Gooden, maybe they would've.

Anyway, after the brief flirtation with a late season callup of "The Phenom", Gregg Jeffries, and the emergence of David Cone in the 1988 season, that team was swiftly dismantled and soon found itself mired in mediocrity. The "Mackey Sasser Years" of the early '90s weren't all that fun, but I still watched the games in hope that moves such as bringing in Frank Viola, Eddie Murray, and Bobby Bonilla would produce big dividends, but it was never the same. As Chuck Klosterman said about rooting for the Boston Celtics in the '80s, at a certain point you're just rooting for laundry.

Honorable mention: In 1988

Toronto Blue Jays, Pittsburgh Pirates, Atlanta Braves, NY Yankees
Three Rivers Stadium
Buffalo Bisons
Pilot Field



1988-'95: Oakland Athletics

Jose Canseco
Cleveland Indians
Major League
Howard Johnson
Frank Viola
WOR

1999-'05: Boston Red Sox

2000 Mets
Chicago Cubs
Wrigley Field

2008-'10: Baltimore Orioles vs. Washington Nationals

Friday, October 29, 2010

A Sabres Rant, in Miniature


The Sabres' playoff chances are fading as quickly as the colors on this old ass patch.

Thrashers 4, Sabres 3 OT

The Buffalo Sabres did a terrific job in overtime of making Atlanta defenseman (one of Chicago's 2009-10 Stanley Cup Playoff heroes) Dustin Byfuglien look like Mario F*cking Lemieux on his end to end GWG. Seriously, the Sabres are like a shitty reverse-Jesus, because transforming a relatively marginal player like Byfuglien into a skater suddenly capable of going end to end in breathtaking fashion, in OT no less, is every bit an impressively miraculous metamorphosis as that whole "water to wine" gag. He skated around or past every Sabre on the ice and then beat Ryan Miller like an old rug. See it now:



At least Sabres Managing Partner Larry Quinn has some nice new shirts to sell, because he sure as hell isn't selling me or anyone else on the idea that this team is a legitimate Cup contender, let alone average. The lack of guts, focus, and leadership on this roster is utterly astounding. Yes, they have talent, but this team was seriously lacking in the toughness department last year and it's only snowballed into a full blown catastrophe since they ignored remedying it in the offseason. Sure, Tim Connolly had an excellent game, and Derek Roy came through with a clutch goal to force OT--- but Roy also loves to give the rubber away like a college campus sex-ed instructor, before casually skating over to the refs to preen like the supposedly untouchable diva that he is, at the worst possible moments. And Tiny Tim has the velveteen touch of a dandy fop; he is quite simply the biggest p*ssy to lace up the skates since Brian "SuperStar" Bellows.

Alright, there are a million big things and at least a billion tiny things wrong with this team, but the main problem lies at the feet of management. The big end of season press conference following the unceremonious 1st round exit at the hands of the Boston Bruins where Lindy, Darcy, and Larry (seriously, WTF is Quinn doing positioning himself in between the Head Coach and the General Manager at a presser answering hockey questions? Shouldn't he be in his office f*cking up the waterfront?) got all weepy about bringing a Cup to Buffalo was an absolutely insulting pile of bullshit. Changes were promised, and what did they do? They let Tallinder and Lydman walk (not exactly terrible) and replaced them with the inferior Jordan Leopold (who I don't exactly mind) and the tough and steady Shaone Morrisonn (who is exactly OK). Morrisonn has struggled a bit, but he'd certainly look better if he were back playing with Mike Green rather than Mike Wilson--- and by Mike Wilson I mean Tyler Myers.


Suddenly, Calder Trophy winner Tyler Myers is playing like this asshole.

The only other moves were to f*ck over the suddenly petulant scrub that everyone in South Buffalo loves, Tim Kennedy (yeah I get it, he skates hard, but he's not exactly Patrick Kane, people!) and replaced him on the roster with the lesser of two Niedermyers: Centreman Rob. I don't hate Leopold, Morrisonn, or Niedermyer and I also don't hate the loss of Tallinder/Lydman--- but those relatively insignificant additions and subtractions are not the kick in the nuts this roster sorely needed after the "Ryan Miller is playing out of his mind" fueled hockey world love fest that was the 2009-10 Northeastern Division Championship season. The fact that the best summary I can conjure about these moves is "meh" says a lot about how awful this team has been. Perhaps it also says a lot about my lack of descriptive powers in this agitated state... but getting back to "the bad."

The Bad:

-Tyler Myers has regressed, in a major way, and it wasn't so troubling at first, but now it's getting a little uncomfortable. I keep expecting him to break out of his funk, but then he just gets worse. Steve Montador has been their best D-man, until his nightly "what the f**k is he thinking?!??" giveaway.

-It's about time to give up on Drew Stafford, he simply doesn't have the fire to play the game, and any moron can see that. He has excellent "one on one" hockey skills but he doesn't have the instincts to be a complete player. He's like the guy that goes into a trance when he starts dribbling a soccer ball all by himself. It's amazing to watch but the mood has to strike him at the perfect time for him to "get into it". I get the sense that he'd prefer to be home playing RockBand.

-I also think that after 8 years the organization can finally admit that they f*cked up the Michael Peca situation--- in other words, let's cut ties with Tim Connolly. There was a brief moment during the 2005-06 Playoffs where his game suddenly elevated to Dominating Big Game Performer--- it was the moment right before Ottawa's Peter Shaefer lowered his shoulder into Connolly's solar plexus and knocked him into next season. He shows flashes from time to time, but on a team with no true #1 centre the Sabres simply cannot afford to continue carrying dead weight like the ever fragile (not only physically, but also emotionally & mentally) #19.


"I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed."

-Derek Roy is what he is--- an immensely talented two way forward with a knack for penalty killing and scoring and setting up goals--- when he feels like it. He too often gives up on plays in order to flap his gums at the refs. Apparently, the combination of his talents and reasonable contract have made him attractive to GMs around the league, but he's still my least favorite Sabre, ever.


Members of the Sabres' training staff helping massage out Derek Roy's groin pull.

-Jason Pominville has been invisible since the 1st Chicago game! But seriously, when is this guy going to put the puck in the net on a more consistent basis? I'm speaking about the past few years rather than this season: He has a severely underrated defensive game, but once upon a time, he appeared poised to score 30-35 goals, annually. Possibly the lack of a regular setup man in the pivot has lowered his production.

-Speaking of lacking a regular setup man in the pivot--- if Thomas Vanek regularly skated on a line with a real centre, no one would be ruffled about his ridiculous Kevin Lowe penned contract. He definitely gets caught in his own head sometimes, but a legitimate centre would help Vanny loosen his grip on the stick.

-Dear Paul Gaustad, you are not Cam Neely. F*cking hit someone everytime you're on the ice and win most of your draws, then film your 43 commercials per week and STFU. Go Green!


Vanek & Gaustad: Much more "butch" off the ice than on.

-Pat Kaleta has been marginalized to the point of no longer being effective as even an annoyance to opposing team's skaters. Maybe it's the concussions. Helpful hint to Lindy: I think it's safe to say that a guy that makes his hay hitting people will have diminished value when he's afraid to exacerbate his rather prominent concussion problems.

-Broken down "Captain" Craig Rivet: Uhhh, next bullet point...

-ShadowBoss Larry Quinn haunts my darkest nightmares and continues to be the bane of my existence as a Sabres fan.


Larry Quinn, shortly after confiscating both the hopes of Sabres' fans and also the TriForce.

The Average:

-Cody McCormick & "rookie" Tyler Ennis have been above average, but when they're your shining examples, the season has gone seriously awry. I suspect they'd make a much bigger impact if their teammates didn't, you know... suck. Luke Adam is a pleasant surprise and I'd like to see him given a shot as a regular in the top 6 sooner rather than later. Miller has had some off nights, but with the D consistently crumbling on the back check and in odd man rushes, it's hard to blame him.

-With Mike Grier the effort is there, but he's just not finishing, not that his stone hands have ever been very potent in the offensive zone. I'm pretty sure the only reason he did an about face and decided that the Sabres organization was truly headed in the right direction is because no other team was interested in his services. Again, he can be an effective player with the right supporting cast.

The Good:

-The uniforms are super nice!


Tim Connolly displaying the "new" uniforms & his unique style of physical play.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Unicorns we have; it's Horses that we need

Miami Dolphins 15
Buffalo Bills 10


Bills QB Trent Edwards about to get a giant hug from Miami's Karlos Dansby

The Offensive Tackles or the Quarterback?

So, apparently, the Buffalo Bills do not have NFL caliber offensive tackles on their roster. Raise your hand if you were aware of this prior to today's game: OK, it looks like everyone, including Buddy Nix, just raised their hand. That's right, Bills' GM Buddy Nix was well aware of the paucity of bookend blockers on the depth chart before the draft... at least if you are to take his own words at face value.

Buddy Nix from a recent Buffalo News article:

"We felt like we needed to upgrade our offensive line," Nix said of the assessment after he was hired. "We started out looking for that. That was our main emphasis going into the draft. But by the time we got through doing our work, there was one or two guys we felt really strongly about coming in and helping us. And neither one of them were there."

Offensive tackles Russell Okung and Trent Williams were taken in the first six picks.

"So do we take a guy that everybody thinks we ought to take, a tackle, no matter whether he can play or not?" Nix said. "You can't let that bother you."

Although I completely agree with the "Best Player Available" logic behind the CJ Spiller pick I have to wonder why the team did not make a significant move following the draft to upgrade the OT position, either via trade or free agency? Clearly, they did not feel entirely comfortable again entrusting the left tackle spot to Demetrius Bell, regardless of the near mythic tremendous athletic potential heaped on him by 2 separate coaching staffs. There were several high quality LTs made available in the trade market: Baltimore's (currently injured) Jared Gaither, New Orleans Jamaal Brown (since traded to Washington and starting for them at RT), and San Diego's Pro Bowl holdout Marcus McNeil (and there is tenuous speculation that Nix had at least talked to Ozzie Newsome regarding Gaither) as well as more than a few aging options in free agency such as Levi Jones and Flozell Adams that could have served as stopgaps.


Is the talented but unproven Demetrius Bell the answer at LT? GOD I HOPE SO!

If the team's brain trust was not comfortable prior to the draft then there is every reason to believe they should not have been comfortable heading into the regular season with essentially the same group. Sure, maybe Demetrius Bell is the 2nd coming of the pre-holdout Jason Peters, but right now he's still recovering from a serious injury and does not yet seem capable of either performing at the high level required of him or even, at times, simply communicating with his linemates. It's also vaguely possible Ed Wang and his Olympic genetics could one day catapult him into a genuine international superstar status, even; but this is all wishful thinking for the long term, not a foundation upon which to rest your season heading into Week 1. We need horses not unicorns.

Well, as The Buffalo News article stated, "Nix is a football man with a plan." It's likely the right deal (or the right player fit) was simply not there. If the Bills are serious about building for the future then it's understandable, to a degree, that they stood pat. After all, trading away draft picks at the expense of mortgaging the future has led to several disastrous front office moves over the course of the '00s (Drew Bledsoe, or trading up for JP Losman, John McCargo, and yes probably even the oft injured Paul Posluzsny), not to mention the distressing habit of allowing so much established talent to depart as free agents or in trades for virtually nothing (Pat Williams, Antoine Winfield, Nate Clements, Jonas Jennings, Jabari Greer, Travis Henry, Willis McGahee, Peerless Price, Eric Moulds) only to then waste further draft picks on their replacements. That's not to say players such as McGahee or Clements or Jennings should (or even could) have been retained, but the franchise has played a perpetual game of musical chairs with it's roster causing endless stagnation with it's talent and restlessness with the fan base. The decision to acquire players should not come at the expense at the construction of the team, both physically and philosophically.

Of course, the offensive line is just the tip of the iceberg. Yes, everything begins with the trenches, but NFL quarterbacks are still required to step up into the ferocious onslaught of 275 lb. blitzing linebackers and attempt to make a play. As evidenced by Miami Defensive Coordinator Mike Nolan's game plan earlier today there is no proof that Trent Edwards is capable of doing that. So, why not stack the box, plug up the running lanes, and dare Captain Checkdown to beat them with his arm? It's worked for many teams in the past. The offensive line may be in bad shape but those issues are exacerbated by the common knowledge of Edwards' lack of willingness to deliver the ball downfield in the face of a legitimate pass rush. By completely disregarding it teams can disrupt the backfield with reckless abandon.


An excited Koa Misi after asking Trent to drop & give him 30 pushups.

And, I say willingness--- not ability--- because given time in the pocket Trent Edwards has, in my estimation, demonstrated that he is indeed an accurate passer with a quick release and strong enough arm to make all the throws. He's smart, too, which are all reasons he looks so good in practice. In what seems like a lifetime ago, the preseason Edwards looked like a world beater, at least in games 2-4. That may be attributed to a combination of actual professional playcalling by Chan Gailey (something the Bills have not had since... well, I don't know, the K-Gun combo of Ted Marchibroda/Jim Kelly?), and the lack of any real kind of gameplanning by opposing defenses.

So, whatever. Practice and preseason don't matter one lick when it doesn't bleed over into the regular season where things are much faster and much more intense. If Trent makes just 1 or 2 plays to back off the defense then the pass rush will slow down. Suddenly, the OTs don't look as bad. CJ Spiller will have room to operate and enough time to get into the flow of the game. The abundantly talented backfield trio of Spiller, Fred Jackson and "BeastMode" Lynch will flourish and open up passing lanes to hit targets like Lee Evans streaking toward the endzone, Roscoe Parrish cutting through the middle out of the slot, and perhaps even Shawn Nelson down the seam once he gets out of detention.

In other words, the offensive tackles kind of suck. But they may perform adequately enough with a quarterback willing and able to sling it under duress. It's believable that the current crop of young offensive tackles could develop into very good players--- we've seen it happen relatively recently right here with this franchise and the previously referenced Jason Peters--- but I'm sure #5 is anything more than damaged goods at this point. Was it possible at one time that Trent Edwards could have grown into the quarterback Bill Walsh believed him to be? Sure, he looked as though he was well stocked with the necessary tangibles AND intangibles. Is it likely that his football psyche was severely hurt after too many years of rudderless offensive coaching and a constant barrage of blindsided concussive hits in his formative years during the Jauron era? Without a doubt. Can these serious missteps be corrected under Gailey's tutelage? Meh...


1st year Bills head coach Chan Gailey, just as he realized what he's gotten himself into.

After years of Rob Johnson and JP Losman (and arguably Drew Bledsoe) I no longer have the confidence that any reclamation project is worth taking on at the most crucial position on the field. Honestly, the one roster spot on any football team that absolutely must be filled by a player with confidence and guts is the starting quarterback. If you could infuse Ryan Fitzpatrick's guts, toughness, and cocksure attitude with Edwards' accuracy, well, then, you might have something. As it is, I'm already wondering how Brian Brohm would look with the first string. 2010 is beginning to sound a lot like 2009.


Pick your poison, Bills fans! I'm guessing we'll see Fitzpatrick sooner than later.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

OMG MY OLD TRAPPER KEEPER


This was TOTALLY the Trapper Keeper I had... at some point. I want to say 5th grade, circa 1988-9.
This makes my bones hurt. Somewhere, 20+ year old social studies homework is falling loose from its 3 (2 functional) rings. I miss it SO MUCH.

Image taken from HERE.